The short version: His Secret Obsession and the Relationship Rewrite Method come from the same publisher and the same pen-named author, cost about $50 each, and state the same 60-day refund window, so the choice is about approach rather than price. His Secret Obsession is built around a named idea, the Hero Instinct, and a set of signals (program page). The Relationship Rewrite Method is built around replacing negative memories with positive ones through compliments, storytelling, requests, and boundaries (program page). The rest of this article shows our working, based on each program’s sales page and published terms.

One thing before the table. Neither product is a guaranteed fix. Both are digital programs sold through ClickBank, and the publisher’s own terms describe the content as entertainment, not psychological advice, and say the author uses a pen name, a face actor, and a voice actor (vendor terms). Each sales page promises dramatic results, and no method can overrule a grown man’s free will. What the programs can reward is fit, so it helps to read what each page actually says before choosing.

The Two Programs at a Glance

His Secret ObsessionRelationship Rewrite Method
CreatorAuthor writing under the pen name James BauerThe same pen-named author, same publisher
PriceAbout $49 one-time at last check (ignore the discount framing)About $47 one-time at last check (ignore the discount framing)
FormatDigital program the sales page says can be read in an afternoonInstantly available digital copy (the page refers to an exercise on page 12)
Core methodThe Hero Instinct plus named signals with step-by-step instructionsA positive-to-negative experience ratio, compliments, storytelling, a request technique, and boundaries
Best forA man who has gone distant or cold, per the sales pageA relationship strained by conflict or distance, including after a split, per the sales page
Refund60-day money-back guarantee, requested by email60-day refund, requested by email per the terms

Which Program Fits Your Situation?

With the price a couple of dollars apart and the same 60-day refund window, the decision comes down to which approach matches your situation. Both sales pages claim to cover more than one stage, so use the notes below as a starting point and read both pages before you buy.

You are still together and he has become distant or perpetually “fine.” Start with His Secret Obsession. Its page speaks directly to distant boyfriends and bored husbands, and the Hero Instinct reframe is its explanation of why a man might drift when he does not feel needed.

You are separated or split up and hoping to reconnect. Compare both. The Relationship Rewrite Method’s sales page is built around a separated couple, Lisa and Caleb, and says the method can work even if the relationship is already over. His Secret Obsession’s page also includes an “Ex-Back Signal” for people who have recently split.

Your conflicts keep reopening the same wounds. The Relationship Rewrite Method is the one built around the balance of positive and negative experiences. Its page leans on a 5-to-1 ratio; the Gottman Institute reports a similar 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict in stable, happy marriages (Gottman Institute).

You want to understand why he is drifting while you are still together. His Secret Obsession. Its page frames the answer through the Hero Instinct, which is a useful lens as long as you treat it as one idea, not a law of nature.

The relationship involved abuse, coercion, or fear. Neither. Safety and professional support come first, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-799-7233.

You are mostly grieving and not sure you truly want him back. Neither, yet. Sometimes the urge to fix or reunite is grief looking for a project. Spend time with the no-contact rule that actually works and our self-worth guides before you spend anything, because your own footing is the main event, not the consolation prize.

His Secret Obsession: The Hero Instinct and Named Signals

The His Secret Obsession sales page opens with a client story: Rachel, whose boyfriend Mike went silent and then broke things off, and a 12-word text the page credits with bringing him back to her door. From there it introduces the Hero Instinct, the claim that men carry a drive to feel needed, competent, and appreciated, and lists named signals, including the Glimpse Phrase, the Fascination Signal, the Silent Action Signals, and the Ex-Back Signal (program page). The label is marketing, but the underlying idea that feeling competent matters to motivation has support in self-determination theory (Ryan and Deci, American Psychologist).

Its strength is that the signals are named and concrete, which makes it easy to try one and see how it lands. A signal delivered from genuine appreciation reads very differently from the same line used as a tactic, so use it honestly. Its honest limits are the marketing, which promises a result within 60 days that no program can guarantee, and a story-driven sales page whose client examples cannot be verified.

We rated it 8 out of 10. The buy-or-skip verdict is in our full His Secret Obsession review. If your particular ache is a partner who keeps going quiet just as you get close, our guide on how to turn casual into commitment tackles the intact-relationship version of the problem directly. And if your relationship is newer than the situations the sales page describes, His Secret Obsession vs Infatuation Scripts weighs it against a program built for that earlier stage.

The Relationship Rewrite Method: Rewriting How He Remembers You

The Relationship Rewrite Method is the same pen-named author’s other program, and its sales page tells a different story: Lisa and Caleb, a couple who had already separated, whom the page says reconciled within two weeks after Lisa used the method (program page). The page’s organizing idea is that a man’s emotional story about you can be “rewritten” by raising the ratio of positive to negative experiences toward 5 to 1. The Gottman Institute describes a similar 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict in stable, happy marriages, though that is a finding about married couples in conflict, not a promise that any technique can reverse a split (Gottman Institute).

The techniques the page lists are reciprocity, compliments (with what it calls five sessions’ worth of compliment coaching), storytelling, a tactic it calls the Power of the Request, and scarcity, which it describes as setting healthy boundaries. The page also says the method requires authenticity, because without real love between two people there is nothing to build on. Its honest ceiling is the one every program in this category shares: it cannot force an ex back, manufacture feelings that have genuinely died, or repair a relationship that ended for serious reasons, however confidently the page promises otherwise.

We rated it 7 out of 10. The full breakdown, including who should skip it, is in is the Relationship Rewrite Method worth it and our original Relationship Rewrite Method review. If you are weighing get-him-back options specifically, our Ex Factor vs Relationship Rewrite comparison lays out which fits which breakup.

Where the Two Programs Differ Most

What they share is easy to list: the same publisher (Be Irresistible, run by Blink Publishing LLC), the same pen-named author, ClickBank as the retailer, and a 60-day refund that the terms say you can request by email for any reason (vendor terms). Both pages also treat appreciation as the mechanism: His Secret Obsession calls it feeling needed, and the Rewrite page calls it compliments and positive experiences.

Where they part ways is the mechanism and the pitch. His Secret Obsession is organized around one named idea and a library of named signals. The Relationship Rewrite Method is organized around a ratio of positive to negative experiences and five techniques. Both open with a story about a man who had already pulled away or left, a reminder that the two pages sell into overlapping situations. Pick the one whose explanation of the problem sounds more like yours.

Can You Use Both?

For most people, no. The two programs share a publisher, a pen-named author, and a goal, so the overlap is large, and buying both usually means paying twice for the same kind of idea.

The one exception is the on-again, off-again cycle: broken up but still in contact, unsure which way it will go. There, a reasonable order exists. Start with the compliment and request techniques on the Rewrite page to reopen the conversation, and if you genuinely land back in something, add the signals from His Secret Obsession to keep it warm. What you should not do is buy both out of indecision. Use the notes above, pick the program that matches your situation, and let the two 60-day guarantees make even a wrong first choice recoverable. Everything in our commitment guides is free while you decide.

This is educational content, not a substitute for professional counseling. If your relationship involved abuse, coercion, or fear, please reach out to a licensed professional or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).

Verdict

There is no stage-based winner here, because both sales pages claim to work whether the relationship is ongoing, over, or not yet started. Price will not settle it either: about $49 against about $47, with the same 60-day refund window, and both figures should be confirmed on the official sites anyway. The approach settles it.

If the idea that a man pulls back when he does not feel needed matches what you see, and you like named, ready-to-use signals, the better fit is His Secret Obsession; if the warmth you are after is closer to devoted pursuit than quiet closeness, Make Him Worship You vs His Secret Obsession weighs that ambition against this author’s method. If what you recognize is a relationship dominated by negative interactions, and you want a method built on compliments, storytelling, and a ratio of positive experiences, the better fit is the Relationship Rewrite Method, whose flagship story is a separated couple.

If you cannot decide, pick the page whose story sounds more like your life, read the refund terms at checkout, and make the decision once, calmly, instead of reopening the tab at midnight.

Keep Reading

Next reads:

The 12-word text that changes how he sees you Watch the free presentation (affiliate link)
James Bauer's free presentation See how to rewrite the story he tells himself (affiliate link)

Frequently Asked Questions

Which is better, His Secret Obsession or the Relationship Rewrite Method?
Neither is better in a vacuum, because they take different approaches, and their sales pages overlap more than the names suggest. His Secret Obsession is built on what its page calls the Hero Instinct and a set of named signals, and the page speaks to distant boyfriends, bored husbands, and exes. The Relationship Rewrite Method is built on the idea of rewriting how a man remembers you through compliments, storytelling, a request technique, and healthy boundaries, and its page says it applies whether a relationship is ongoing, over, or not yet started. If you are still in it and he is pulling away, the Hero Instinct framing is the more developed explanation of why. If you are separated and want a method framed around replacing negative memories, Rewrite's flagship story is closer to your situation. Match the approach to what resonates with you and either could help.
Are His Secret Obsession and the Relationship Rewrite Method legit?
Both are digital programs from the same publisher, Be Irresistible, operated by Blink Publishing LLC, with ClickBank named as the retailer and a 60-day refund that the publisher's terms say you request by email. The author of both writes under a pen name, which the vendor's terms state openly. No method overrides another adult's free will, so set realistic expectations and use the refund window as the safety net it is.
Can I use both programs together?
Usually there is little reason to, because both come from the same publisher and the same pen-named author and aim at the same goal, so the overlap is large. The blurry exception is an on-again, off-again cycle where you are technically broken up but still in contact; there, some readers might start with the compliment and request techniques on the Rewrite page, then add the signals from His Secret Obsession once they are genuinely back in something. Do not buy both out of indecision. Pick the approach that resonates with you and lean on the 60-day guarantees.
How much do His Secret Obsession and the Relationship Rewrite Method cost?
At last check the His Secret Obsession page listed a one-time price of $49 and the Relationship Rewrite Method page listed $47, and both frame that figure as a deep discount (the His Secret Obsession page cites $197, then $97, before $49, and the Rewrite page cites $497, $197, and $97 before $47). Ignore the anchor and treat each as roughly a $50 product. Prices and bundles in this niche change often, so confirm the current number on each official page before buying rather than trusting any figure in a review, including this one. The 60-day refund applies to both.

Sources & references

  1. His Secret Obsession, official program page (opens in new tab)
  2. Relationship Rewrite Method, official program page (opens in new tab)
  3. Relationship Rewrite Method, official terms (refunds, pen name disclosure) (opens in new tab)
  4. Gottman Institute, The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science (opens in new tab)
  5. Ryan and Deci, Self-determination theory (American Psychologist) (opens in new tab)
  6. National Domestic Violence Hotline (opens in new tab)

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