# We're Not Really Strangers vs BestSelf: Couples Deck

> We're Not Really Strangers or the BestSelf Intimacy Deck? We compare card count, depth, tone, and price to help you pick the right couples deck for date night.

Canonical: https://thedevotionformula.com/articles/wnrs-vs-bestself-couples-decks/
Published: 2026-09-25

---

If you only take one sentence from this comparison, take this one: if you are an established couple who wants real depth with a little play, buy the We're Not Really Strangers Couples Edition; if you are newer together or you want a gentle, repeatable check-in rather than a game, the BestSelf Intimacy Deck is the better fit. We're Not Really Strangers holds 150 cards across three levels and BestSelf holds 170 questions across seven topic categories, both cost roughly the price of a takeout dinner, and the whole decision comes down to a single honest question: do you want an evening that feels like a great late-night conversation, or one that feels like a warm, guided ritual you can repeat every Sunday? The rest of this article compares the two using each maker's published details.

One thing before the table. Neither deck is a magic fix, and neither pretends to be. A card game does not resolve a structural problem in a relationship, and it is not supposed to. What it does is lower the pressure and hand you a doorway: a card gives you permission to ask something you might feel shy raising cold, and it gives your partner the same permission to answer. Both of these decks are built to do that. The choice between them is about personality and stage, not quality, which is why the fit question matters more than any ranking.

## The Two Decks at a Glance

| | We're Not Really Strangers Couples | BestSelf Intimacy Deck |
|---|---|---|
| **Card count** | 150 cards | 170 questions |
| **Structure** | 3 levels (Perception, Connection, Reflection) plus wildcards | 7 topic categories |
| **Personality** | Playful late-night conversation, with wildcards | Gentle, structured, guided check-in |
| **Best for** | Established couples wanting depth and a bit of play | Newer couples, or a repeatable weekly ritual |
| **Price** | $20 on its maker's store | $27 on its maker's store (list price $30) |
| **Returns** | Maker's store: sales final unless damaged or incorrect | Maker's store: 14-day returns |

## Which Deck Fits Your Situation?

Because both decks are built for the same core job and sit within about $7 of each other on their makers' stores, the decision comes down to fit. Find your situation below.

**You have been together a while and date nights have started to feel like a scheduled obligation.** We're Not Really Strangers. Years together build a comfortable shorthand, and its Reflection level is designed to reach past that shorthand to the things you have not thought to say in a while. The playful wildcards keep it from turning into a tense state-of-the-union talk.

**You are a newer couple still learning each other's edges.** The BestSelf Intimacy Deck. BestSelf says its questions were designed to break down barriers and build trust ([BestSelf](https://bestself.co/products/intimacy-deck)), which suits a relationship that wants questions that build trust rather than test it, and that gentleness is a good fit when you are still finding your footing together.

**You want a check-in you will actually repeat, not a once-in-a-while game.** The BestSelf Intimacy Deck. Its whole personality is intentional and recurring, the kind of deck you pull out every Sunday to stay current with each other, which is its real strength.

**You want an evening with some surprise and play in it.** We're Not Really Strangers. Its pacing and wildcards give a night a sense of unpredictability in the best way, which is why it plays more like a conversation than a questionnaire.

**Your relationship is in real conflict right now.** Go gently with either, and start with the lighter questions rather than the whole deck. A couple working through genuine tension may want the softer tone of BestSelf, and both decks are a doorway back to warmth, not a substitute for the harder conversations. If the distance runs deeper than a quiet evening can reach, our guide on [how to rebuild intimacy in a long marriage](/articles/how-to-rebuild-intimacy-in-a-long-marriage/) is the better first read.

## We're Not Really Strangers Couples Edition: The Playful One

The We're Not Really Strangers Couples Edition holds 150 cards sorted into three levels: Perception, Connection, and Reflection, plus wildcards ([We're Not Really Strangers](https://www.werenotreallystrangers.com/pages/how-to-play-couples-edition)). You start with level one and work up, and by the third level you are answering the kind of questions most couples never quite get around to asking on their own. The genius of the design is the pacing. Because the levels build, you are never ambushed by a heavy question before you are ready for it, and shy partners get a graceful ramp instead of a cold plunge.

The design aims for questions that invite reflection rather than interrogation, and the wildcards mixed into the deck are meant to keep the tone playful so an evening does not curdle into a "we need to talk" meeting. Its maker says it is for couples who have just made it official as well as couples who have been together forever, so the questions are meant to meet you wherever your history actually is ([We're Not Really Strangers](https://www.werenotreallystrangers.com/collections/games/products/couples-edition)). At $20 for a deck you can reopen many times, it is the easiest recommendation on this page, and it is our top pick overall in our [best conversation card games for couples](/articles/best-conversation-card-games-couples/) roundup, where we scored it 9 out of 10.

## BestSelf Intimacy Deck: The Gentle One

The BestSelf Intimacy Deck is the pick for couples who want something a little softer and more structured. It gathers 170 questions across seven topic categories ([BestSelf](https://bestself.co/products/intimacy-deck)), and its whole personality is intentional. Where We're Not Really Strangers feels like a great late-night conversation, BestSelf feels more like a warm, guided check-in: the kind of deck you might pull out every Sunday to stay current with each other rather than once in a while for a special date night.

That gentleness is its strength and its limit. Couples who want a repeatable ritual, or who feel nervous about big conversations, may appreciate its structured, topic-by-topic format. Couples chasing the spark and surprise of a game will find it calmer than the WNRS deck. At $27 it costs about $7 more, and it is worth it if the structured, recurring check-in is what you know you will actually use. We cover it alongside our top pick in the same [couples card games roundup](/articles/best-conversation-card-games-couples/), and it is the deck we point to when a couple wants gentleness over play.

## An Honest Mention: Our Moments Couples

Our Moments Couples is another conversation-starter deck in this category. We mention it because leaving it out would be dishonest about the landscape. The catch is that, at the time of writing, we could not find it reliably available at a fair price from a seller we trust, so we do not link to it or compare it here. If it returns to dependable stock, it is worth a look as a lighter alternative. For now, both decks we do recommend are dependable picks.

## Can You Use Both?

You can, and unlike most either-or purchases, two decks that cost $47 together is a genuinely reasonable place to land if you love the ritual. Many couples keep a playful deck and a gentle one and reach for whichever suits the mood: We're Not Really Strangers for a lively date night, the BestSelf Intimacy Deck for a quiet Sunday check-in. They do not compete so much as cover different evenings.

That said, if you are buying your first deck and just want the one that fits, do not buy both to avoid deciding. Use the framework above, pick the personality that matches how you and your partner actually connect, and add the second later if the ritual sticks. Whichever you choose, the deck is not the point. The hour without screens, facing each other, asking better questions, that is the point, and everything in our [communication and texting guides](/category/communication-texting/) supports that same warmth between date nights.

*This is educational content about connection, not a substitute for professional counseling if your relationship is in real distress.*

## Verdict

No cop-out tie here, because the two decks have genuinely different personalities. Price will not settle it: both cost about the same, both are one-time buys you reuse for years, and both do the core job of getting two people to put the phones down and actually talk. Tone and stage settle it.

If you are an established couple who wants real depth with a bit of play, and an evening that feels like a conversation rather than a quiz, the winner is the We're Not Really Strangers Couples Edition. It is the rare product that does exactly what it promises, at a price that makes it an easy yes. If you are newer together, or you want a gentle, recurring check-in you will actually keep using, the winner is the BestSelf Intimacy Deck. Its careful, structured warmth is the right fit for a couple who wants a ritual over a game.

Here is the tiebreaker if you are still torn. Ask what your evenings need more of. If they need a spark and a little surprise, choose We're Not Really Strangers. If they need a calm, dependable way to stay current with each other, choose BestSelf. Either way, the cards are just the doorway. You still have to walk through it, and the good news is that walking through it together is the easiest part.

## Keep Reading

**Next reads:**

- [Best Conversation Card Games for Couples (2026)](/articles/best-conversation-card-games-couples/)
- [Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Feel Closer](/articles/questions-to-ask-your-boyfriend/)